I’ve spent the last hour reading first hand accounts from women who have large families about the negative feedback they have received from family and friends when sharing the news of a pregnancy. Can you imagine telling your mother-in-law you are pregnant with your fourth child, only to have her refuse to speak to you for months? Imagine hiding your pregnancy until it’s impossible to conceal because you’re dreading the negative comments. These scenarios have happened to real women. I even encountered one story in which a woman did not tell her mother-in-law about her eighth child until the day after she was born.

I have ten aunts and uncles, not including their spouses. I can’t imagine facing angry reactions to a pregnancy, whether it’s the second or the fifth, but that is the reality for many women out there. Big families get a lot of grief sometimes, but I wonder why people feel it is necessary to judge in the first place. Will voicing their disapproval keep the expectant couple from having more kids? It’s not likely. Will mean spirited comments end the pregnancy? Certainly not! Which grandchild would one of these disapproving grandmothers pick to get rid of, exactly?

Sometimes complete strangers feel entitled to make comments when they see a large family. I am amazed how quick people are to judge these super-size families when they have no first hand experience with large families themselves. They assume the older kids are unhappy and the younger ones are ignored. They assume that raising five kids is like raising one times five. Whatever their assumptions, they forget they are not the ones paying the grocery bill or changing diapers. They have no say. Their mean comments don’t deserve any merit.

Have you ever experienced a negative reaction to a pregnancy announcement? How did you respond?

Aches and pains are pretty common during pregnancy. They are so common that it’s unusual if you don’t have them. Headaches, backaches and sore hips and joints pretty much come with the territory. The tricky part is dealing with the pain in such a way that will not present any risk to the baby. You may have popped two or three Ibuprofen before you were pregnant, but it’s no longer so simple. While some over the counter pain relievers, such as Acetaminophen, are perfectly safe during pregnancy, other common pain killers, like Aspirin, should be avoided. For those who want to avoid the use of drugs altogether, natural home remedies can sometimes offer relief.

Which OTC drugs are safe?

Acetaminophen can be taken during all three trimesters. Expectant moms should be careful to follow dosing instructions carefully and inform their doctor of all OTC medications they are taking, including Acetaminophen, which is the active ingredient in Tylenol. Ibuprofen and naproxen are safe to use during the first two trimesters, but should be avoided during the final trimester, since it can lead to excess bleeding during delivery. Aspirin should not be taken, unless prescribed by a doctor for conditions such as preeclampsia, due to the risk for heavy bleeding.

What are some natural alternatives?

Be wary of natural remedies in the form of topical ointments or pills, since even natural herbs can present risks to pregnant moms and their babies. A lot of pain in pregnancy results from tension in the muscles and loose tendons and joints. It is possible to significantly reduce aches and pains simply by allowing tired muscles to relax and taking the pressure off sore joints. A great way to accomplish this is through water therapy. Soaking in a warm bath or wading through a pool can help by creating a weightless environment for you to relax in. The heat from a warm bath can also help to loosen tight muscles. You can also use heat and cold to relieve aches and pains with heating pads and cold packs. Wheat bags are flexible in that they can be chilled in the freezer or warmed in the microwave.

How do you handle your pregnancy related aches and pains?

For some expectant parents, choosing a name for their new baby is a no-brainer. Some women have had their baby’s name picked out for years. Some families look forward to passing down a family name. Some couples will even name their child after the city or place in which they were conceived, like all four of Ron Howard’s children. (Can you guess which state daughter Bryce Dallas was conceived in?)

For those of us who don’t have a name lined up, however, picking out a name can be pretty tricky. After all, you’ll probably say it about 3 million times in your lifetime, so you don’t want to pick a name you won’t like after you utter it for the 1.5 millionth time, right? That’s a lot of pressure.

Someone once told me you should go to your backdoor and yell the potential name, as though you were calling your child to come inside. If you like how it sounds, that’s the name you should pick. A more systematic approach would be to print off two copies of the list of top 500 most popular names from the Social Security website, privately circle your favorites and then compare the results to see which names you both like and narrow it down from there. If you have a particular meaning you’d like to use, you can use an online name library that includes the origins and meanings of different names. Some families prefer to use biblical names. Some name their kids after their favorite celebrities. I first heard my son’s name while meeting several of my best friend’s coworkers, and I really liked the sound of it. There are tons of places to look for names, and sometimes the name just pops out of nowhere.

Remember that you don’t have to have the name picked out before your baby is born. You usually have a few days after your baby is born to fill out the birth certificate. Some moms want to see their baby’s face before choosing a name, believing the child will look like a certain name.

How did you pick out names for your children?

The cake is frosted, the centerpieces are placed, the punch is poured and the tables are set, but what are you going to wear to your baby shower? All eyes and cameras will be on you, so you might want to make sure your outfit will look good in person and on film. You also have to consider function and comfort. Here are some things to consider when choosing an outfit for your shower:

Color: Wear something that will look good in photos. Bright colors and interesting patterns will really pop in a photograph. A bright floral dress is a great option for summer. If you are wearing a solid color, break it up with a colorful scarf, belt or sash around your waist. If your shower has a color theme, you could wear something that matches or complements that color.

Cut: What looks good when you’re standing up tall may not fit so well when you’re bent over unwrapping a pack and play. Choose a dress or top that is cut in such a way that it will not completely expose your chest when you lean forward or shift too much when you’re twisting. If you have to adjust your outfit more than once in a thirty minute interval, pick something else. If it rides up even once, pick something else. If you’re wearing a dress, keep skirt length in mind. You may end up sitting in a chair facing everyone else while you open your gifts, and if your skirt is too short, you will have to take extra care that you keep your knees locked together so you don’t give your guests a show.

Comfort: You don’t have to completely sacrifice comfort for style and vice versa, but when you’re pregnant, comfort usually wins. You want to be able to focus on your shower, not the waistline that is digging in or the blouse that’s making your skin itch. They make stylish maternity dresses in jersey knit fabric that are unbelievably soft. Skip heals and wear flats if you think you’ll be on your feet for too long.

Last night I was talking to a friend of mine who is expecting. She was feeling a little self-conscious about the appearance of her growing baby bump. As soon as I saw what she was worried about, I assured her that it happened to me when I was pregnant as well. In fact, it happens to a majority of pregnant women. Like stretch marks, it can seem to appear overnight. One day, your stomach looks totally normal, and then all of a sudden, you wake up one morning and it’s covered in long, dark hair. Gone are the days of freely lifting up your shirt for friends who want to see your popped belly button. Instead, you sheepishly pull the panel of your jeans over your fuzzy bump. Does this sound familiar to you? If so, you are not alone. Search any pregnancy forum for “fuzzy belly” and you’ll find tons of women who are worried about the dark hair on their stomach. Why is it there, they wonder. Will it go away? How can I get rid of it?

It’s not just the hair on your stomach that’s growing more lush, all of your hair grows a little faster (and sheds much slower) when you are pregnant. While you may cringe at the thought of a little extra belly, back and facial hair, you’ll love what it does for the hair on your head. Thick, shiny hair is one of the benefits of pregnancy that I still miss. In the months after delivery, as your body returns to normal, the excess hair will begin to fall out and you’ll feel like you’re going bald, but you’ll get your smooth stomach back, too. There’s always a trade off.

If the hair on your belly is bothering you, you have a few options for getting rid of it. You could reach for the tweezers, the razor or wax; just be prepared for pain and possible shaving bumps. Avoid hair removal creams, as these are not safe for pregnancy. Or, you could just try to ignore it. Other people mostly likely won’t even notice it anyway.

An easy way to share your pregnancy with friends and family is to start a blog. You don’t have to be a professional writer or web design expert. If you can write an email, you can definitely write a blog. Follow these steps to have your blog up and running in no time.

1. Open a free account on a blog hosting site like Blogger or Wordpress. Some blog sites offer premium plans, but don’t feel like you have to buy anything. Free plans still allow you to customize the look of your blog and include pictures in your posts. Unless you are planning on going “pro,” you don’t need to self host or purchase additional storage.

2. Choose a name for your blog. You can keep it simple as “The Smith Family.” As long as the name is available, the possibilities are endless.

3. Choose to make it public or private. Most blogging sites will give you the option of making your blog public or private. If your blog is private, you will have to e-mail an invitation to those you want to read your updates. This is ideal if you want to get really personal and include sensitive information such as your location, doctor, unedited ultrasound images, etc.

4. Pick a template. You can either select a free template offered by your blog host (both Wordpress and Blogger offer plenty of options) or you can browse one of the many sites that offer free templates and backgrounds. These sites will offer step by step instructions for installation. Choosing a template from your blog host is as simple as a click.

5. Write your first post! Introduce yourself and your growing family. Include your due date, a belly pic, your baby’s first ultrasound, or whatever else you would like to share. Talk about your cravings, your symptoms or your nursery plans. Blogs are a fun way to connect with other expecting moms as well.

6. Have fun! Don’t let the blog become a source of stress. Only update it when you have time or inspiration. There are no rules to follow and there is definitely no pressure to become famous. Think of it as an open family newsletter. It can become whatever you wish, after all, it’s your blog.

Summer doesn’t have to be a miserable time of year if you are pregnant. While it may be hot, and even more so for those with raging pregnancy hormones, it also affords plenty of opportunities to cool down by the pool, in breezy sun dresses, or with chilled beverages and ice cream.

Besides offering great, low impact exercise, swimming is a great way to cool off during the sweltering summer months. You may even find swimming easier because pregnant bodies are naturally more buoyant. There are tons of swimsuits out there to fit your new curves and your style. Check out some maternity swimsuit options here.

When you’re not by the pool, wear light, loose fitting capris, shorts and sundresses. Cotton breathes, making it ideal for hot weather. If you are wearing light colors, make sure to wear sunscreen underneath so you don’t get burned, since UV Rays can permeate light colored fabrics. (Alternately, wash your clothes with Sun Guard, which will make them UPF 30 for up to twenty washings.)

Another fun way to cool down is with a tasty chilled treat. Ice cream will keep you cool, satisfy your cravings, and give you a calcium boost. Just enjoy it in moderation. Another cold treat you can make yourself is a slushy. If you don’t have a slushy machine, pour any beverage into a basic ice cream maker that uses a frozen core for a perfectly blended, smooth slushy. My personal favorite flavor is Root Beer. Fruit juices also work well.

Still hot? Get yourself a personal fan with a spritzer, stay in the shade as much as possible, wear open shoes or sandals, and skip the hots meals. Cold pasta salad and a fruit tea makes a refreshing, no fuss lunch that you can make yourself or pick up at the deli.

How do you stay cool in the summer months?

When I found out I was pregnant nearly two years ago, one of the first things I did was create a pregnancy organizer. It was so helpful throughout my pregnancy that I though I would share it with you.

After picking out a cute binder and tabs, I divided my new organizer into four sections: Insurance, Obstetrician, Appointment Log, and Ovulation Charts. These sections are really flexible and largely depend on what information you need to keep track of for your specific pregnancy. For example, I kept quite a bit of data in my Ovulation Charts section due to the fact that I had irregular cycles and the charts were necessary to determine my due date. Other sections you might want to include are Child Birth Class, Hospital Information, Important Phone Numbers or Important Forms. Ultimately it is up to you which headings you choose for your organizer.

The important thing is to keep all the important information in one place. Every time I received correspondence from my insurance company concerning my prenatal appointments, I put it in the binder. I kept all my appointment cards in the front pocket. I also stored my insurance card in the binder during my pregnancy in case the doctor’s office needed to see it again. I stored my obstetrician’s contact information and driving directions to the clinic and the hospital, just in case I need to give it to someone in an emergency. In the appointment log, which was essentially lined notebook paper to start with, I kept track of stats and questions I had for my doctor so I’d have them on hand at each appointment. A pregnancy organizer is also the perfect place to keep your birth plan, information packets your doctor might give you, brochures for the hospital or birthing center, registry information, shower dates and plans, receipts for nursery items, contracts for maternity photo sessions and prescriptions. Besides information, your pregnancy organizer is the perfect place to keep a chart for writing down contractions, a pen, and loose leaf paper for writing notes.

I didn’t use my organizer’s full potential last time; I will be adding several new sections to my binder next time around. How do you keep track of your pregnancy?

Nursery furniture can get really pricey, especially when you are on a limited budget. I was able to furnish my son’s room thanks to gifts, Craig’s List, and hand-me-down pieces that I revived with a little paint. The end result was a room that was both functional and cute.

Before you start your search, measure the room and figure out exactly what you have room for. Next, make a list of the pieces you think you’d want and determine which of those will fit in your room. Consider the placement of windows and electrical sockets, since these things might limit the way you can use your space. If you are a visual person, draw the room on a sheet of graph paper. You can then draw potential pieces of furniture on another sheet of graph paper, cut them out, and play with different layouts by placing the cutouts in your virtual room.

Shop for furniture at the store where you are creating your registry. If you like something, go ahead and register for it. You will probably not get everything, but you never know what you will get. Family and friends might want to go in on a gift together. We were fortunate enough to receive our crib as a gift.

After your baby shower, determine which pieces of your furniture you still need and begin asking around if anyone has old pieces that you could restore. I was able to get a few very old dressers this way. One dresser, which was originally pink, covered in crayon, and missing hardware, is virtually unrecognizable now. I sanded it, painted it with glossy white cabinet paint, hand-painted the drawers to match my nursery theme, and covered the whole thing in a glossy varnish. I then bought brand new hardware to complete the look. It looks so cute, it is now my favorite piece of furniture in the whole room.

As a last resort, turn to sites like Ebay or Craig’s List to purchase gently used furniture. Don’t worry about color, since you can always refinish it with stain or paint. Ask to see furniture in person before you buy it so you can make sure it is sturdy. We found a quality changing table for just $30 on Craig’s List. We recently sold it for the same amount. You can’t beat that…

1. Paint her toes. Just because she can’t reach them, or see them, doesn’t mean she doesn’t want them to look nice. Score bonus points by throwing in a foot rub.

2. Vacuum the floors. Vacuuming never seemed like a difficult chore before, but strap 20-30 pounds to the front of your chest and then try it. The occasional dip to pick up something too big for the vacuum cleaner is what really turns a simple task into backbreaking work.

3. Tell her she looks beautiful until she believes you. Praise every curve on her body. Pregnant women tend to be in shock when it comes to their bodies and the constant changes. Some love the bump, others hate the bloat, but no matter what, we always love compliments.

4. Offer to run errands for her. Getting in and out of the car during those final months is so tedious.

5. Read the pregnancy books so you can understand and converse about the topics she is interested in.

6. Do some research for her. There are so many baby products to buy, and sometimes finding the right one requires quite a bit of research. You can help her out by finding specs and reviews on the gear she is considering. She might even prefer that you pick out some things if she has too much on her plate.

7. Pick up her favorite food. She’ll enjoy the night off from cooking, and if you pick something she’s been craving, she’ll appreciate it even more.

8. Show a little excitement. I know it’s hard to get excited about something when you feel like you’re on the outside and you’re not sure what to expect, but most women will equate a lack of enthusiasm about the pregnancy with a negative attitude towards impending parenthood. They’re going to think, “he doesn’t really want the baby.” Chances are, that’s not true, so make an effort to get excited about the milestones and express your feelings about becoming a father. It will mean a lot to her.

9. Hold her hand. There are two reasons she’ll love this: she’ll appreciate the extra hand when she’s feeling a little wobbly and holding hands is just plain romantic.

10. Build something for the baby. It could be as simple as putting the crib together to crafting a toy box. Investing time and sweat on something for the baby is a great way to show her how much you love your family. The more she perceives your love for your child, the more love she will feel from you as well. The more love she receives, the more she’ll give. Everybody benefits.