No one should ever have to give birth alone. Whether it is a husband, a mother, a sister, a doula or a friend present – the importance of a personal labor support person is paramount. Labor is scary at times and the pain can make it difficult to speak or think clearly. The new mother needs someone to voice her concerns when she cannot and comfort her when she is feeling distressed, tired or scared.

When you are choosing someone to go into the delivery process with you, think about the way you think they’ll respond under pressure. Will they remain calm? Will they be able to keep their composure when things get a little graphic? Choose someone who will be able to keep the mood in the room relaxed and stress-free. You should also try to choose someone who shares your views on childbirth. If they don’t support you in your decision to have a medication free birth, for example, they may not encourage you to continue when you’re in a lot of pain. They may suggest medication when you are most likely to give in, and you may regret it later if it was very important to you.

Once you choose someone to attend your birth and assist you with the delivery process, spend some time sharing your ideas about what an ideal birth looks like with them. Share your birth plan and beliefs about everything from induction to pain relief to what to do with the cord. Make sure they understand your wishes so they can clearly articulate them when you are unable to do so.

Also take the time to practice pain management techniques. Not every woman likes massage and not every woman needs a pep talk. Some women simply want a hand to hold and silence. Whatever your preferences are, make plans for how your labor support person will assist you during labor. The middle of a contraction is not the time to be giving instructions!

If you want to have a little fun, get your labor support person a special t-shirt, badge or hat to wear. It will make them look “official” and it will be cute for pictures!

As my son’s first birthday approaches and I look back on my first pregnancy, the whole nine months, in memory at least, feels like nothing more than a blip on the radar screen. In the final weeks, I recall feeling like I had been “pregnant forever.” I remember actually saying that on more than one occasion. It seemed to last indefinitely when I was waiting for it to end. A year has faded the memory a great deal, but all it takes is a glance at past blog entries I wrote during my pregnancy to remember how much it dragged on.

The first trimester is the worst in some respects. Except for the morning sickness, nothing seems to be happening. There are few milestones and not much growth. As a result, the weeks creep by ever so slowly.

The second trimester is a little better. The baby’s movement’s can be felt, which gives you something to think about other than how many weeks are left. Your waistline begins to increase quickly, and every time you find a shirt no longer fits, it’s a sign that things are moving along. Milestones like finding out the gender and creating a gift registry give you an opportunity to enjoy the pregnancy itself, rather than always focusing on the due date. Time seems to go by the fastest during the second trimester.

The third trimester often brings time to a screeching halt. Third trimester discomforts are to blame, for the most part. Suddenly, the due date can’t come soon enough. Heaven forbid the due date comes and goes without any signs of baby.

I think the key to getting out of this pattern is to stop looking at the calendar. Pregnancy books and advice columns are so often organized and focused on each individual week or month of pregnancy, ignoring the fact that life continues when you’re pregnant. It’s easy to become so consumed with what week and day you’re on, that time begins to drag and you’re no longer able to enjoy everything else that is going on. If you can manage to forget about your pregnancy for just a moment and have a little fun, you’ll find that time will return to its usual clip, and you’ll be holding your little darling before you know it.

Getting ready for a baby in your home involves more than just baby-proofing. Sure, locking away dangerous cleaners, protecting electrical outlets and blocking stairs are all good ideas, but you will discover that adding convenience for your sake will help you keep your sanity. Taking care of a baby takes up a lot of time, so anything you can do now that can save you time later will make mommy-hood that much easier.

1. Cut down on the time it takes to clean your hardwood, tile or linoleum floors by investing in a quality steam mop, if you don’t already own one. Babies need clean floors to crawl on, and yet they are always creating sticky messes. Mopping itself doesn’t take so long, but the dry time will really mess with your schedule.

2. Save your grocery bags. Babies provide many great opportunities to reuse your plastic shopping bags. They are great for keeping soiled clothes or bibs separate from dry ones in the diaper bag. They are also sometimes the only thing that will contain the stench of a poopy diaper, even if you’re using a deluxe diaper pail. Simply toss the stinky diaper into the bag, tie it closed tightly, and then toss.

3. Boost your storage. It starts with all of the clothes, bath gear and toys. Then Christmas comes along and suddenly you’re wishing you bought stock in Babies R Us. Organized storage is the only thing that will prevent your home from becoming overwhelmed with your baby’s things. My favorite is the nine cube organizer from ClosetMaid, which is available at Target for around $45. They come in a wide variety of colors and they are perfect for storing just about anything, especially if you use the corresponding canvas totes, which are sold separately. These are the perfect containers for books, toys, and other small items that would otherwise be lost.

4. Create a grocery list template on your computer. Organize it by aisles to make shopping go faster. Each week print it off and post it on your fridge. Keep a pencil nearby to circle items as they run out.

5. Place a basket of baby essentials in each area of your house. Keep it stocked with pacifiers, burp rags and other small items that are both frequently used and frequently misplaced.

6. Organize your closet and bathroom so you can get ready in the morning faster. You’ll appreciate it once you have two people to get dressed and ready in the morning instead of one.

7. Consider buying a deep freezer and start batch cooking. Once your baby arrives, you can have grandma come over on a Saturday and help you cook enough food for the entire month. For the rest of the month, you’ll only need to pull a meal from the freezer and heat it up. It will save you a lot of time and the hassle of trying to prepare a meal when you’re needed elsewhere every five minutes!

Commuting to work is a pain to begin with, but pregnancy can makes things even more complicated. Pregnancy and stress don’t mix well; unfortunately, commuting and stress do. Add the possibility of being far from home when your water breaks or complications arise, and the stress compounds. Here are some tips for keeping commuting stress to a minimum.

Stay comfortable.

If you have a long drive to work, just sitting in the car for an extended amount of time can make you sore, especially in the third trimester when pelvic, hip and joint pain are common due to the hormone relaxin. Chances are your commute is long enough to make you uncomfortable, but not long enough to warrant a stop to stretch, so the solution is to make your seat more comfortable. Now would be the time to invest in a seat cushion or support pillow that will improve your posture and support your back while you’re behind the wheel. Look for something with adjustable lumbar support. If you can’t afford a pillow, rolling up a beach towel and adjusting it behind your lower back can help. Your car may also offer lumbar support in the driver seat. If you’re not sure, check the manual. Some cars have a lever on the side of the seat back that will add additional lumbar support. Make sure you sit up tall. Adjust your wheel, seat and mirrors so that you can reach and see everything without slouching or stretching, which will only strain you over time.

Stay cool.

Are you an aggressive driver? Curb your anger and your stress by making your drive a little more calm. Give yourself extra time to get to work so traffic jams and slow drivers will be less likely to have you seething behind the wheel, or watching the clock on the dashboard while beads of sweat form on your brow. Listen to music that will drown out the sound of traffic and lift your mood. You could even add an aromatherapy air freshener to your car. Just don’t put yourself to sleep!

Stay connected.

Keep a cell phone on you at all times and make sure it is programmed with the numbers of your hospital and your doctor, as well as all family members or anyone else who would need to be contacted in the event that you go into labor. Also make sure that your family knows your route to work in case something happens. It’s better to be safe than sorry.

Stay home.

If your work is far away from home and your doctor, monitor yourself closely during the final 2-3 weeks for signs of impending labor. Don’t be afraid to call your boss and start maternity leave a little early. The last thing you want is to be in a different city, during rush hour, while having regular contractions that are 2 minutes apart because you couldn’t bear to take off work.

Once you have your first child, your life will change dramatically. You’ll redefine the words busy and tired. Sleeping in might become something you have to bribe your spouse to experience. You’ll mark every week of your child’s life and forget your own birthday. Whether these changes seem good or bad depends on your perspective, but the change is inevitable. It might be fun to record just how different life becomes once your bundle of joy makes her grand entrance. Take this quiz now, while you are pregnant (or hoping to be), and then take it again a few months into parenthood.

1. I wake up every morning at __________.
2. It takes me __________ minutes to get ready.
3. I never leave the house without my __________.
4. I always/sometimes/never eat breakfast.
5. I always/sometimes/never skip lunch.
6. It takes me __________ minutes to eat dinner.
7. I usually go to bed at __________.
8. I typically sleep __________ hours each night.
9. Every day I make sure I __________, try to __________, and give myself a pat on the back if I manage to __________.
10. The best part of my day is __________.
11. I have $__________ in my bank account.
12. The last time I went on a date with my spouse was __________.
13. Whenever I walk into a store, I have a hard time not buying __________.
14. The word or phrase I use most often during the day is __________.
15. I watch about __________ movies each month.
16. I watch about __________ hours of TV each week.
17. When I am falling asleep, the last thing I’m usually thinking about is __________.
18. My favorite thing to talk about is __________.
19. I’m always/sometimes/never on time.
20. I would consider myself busy: true or false.
21. I always look forward to __________.
22. I always dread __________.
23. In the car, I usually listen to __________.
24. I call or talk to my parents __________ times per week.
25. I’m saving up for __________.
26. I spend about __________ hours alone with my spouse each week.

Not every baby has a tiny head, is born at the perfect speed and in the perfect position, and not every woman is blessed with the abilities of “Stretch Armstrong” when it comes to childbirth; so it’s not surprising that more than half of women either tear or have an episiotomy during labor. It’s extremely common and unfortunately, recovery can be quite painful. But, there are some things that you can do to make it a little more comfortable.

One of the best things you can do to help the recovery process is to take two or three brief, shallow Epsom salt baths per day in the weeks following your delivery. The Epsom salts help to heal the area and also bring immediate relief. In addition to the baths, use a peri bottle filled with warm water each time you use the bathroom to keep the area clean. A peri bottle is just a small squirt bottle (and can be sanitized and re-purposed after your recovery as the perfect tool for rinsing shampoo out of your baby’s hair).

The hospital may also give you an aerosol anesthetic, like Dermoplast Pain Relieving Spray, that disinfects and instantly numbs the area. This would be applied (squat and spray) after you have rinsed with the peri bottle and carefully blotted the area dry with tissue.

You can also follow up with an ice pack for extra relief. They have ice packs specially made for this purpose and they look like thick maxi pads. They can make sitting down during those first few days much more bearable and help to numb the area.

It is extremely important to eat a diet high in fiber and take a stool softener if necessary. Your doctor can suggest a stool softener that should not interfere with breastfeeding if you choose to nurse your baby. It is also important to abstain from intercourse and the use of tampons for at least six weeks to avoid damaging the stitches and causing an infection. You should also do your Kegels frequently to help re-strengthen the perineum.

I just read an interview with Tiffani Thiessen, a long time vegetarian, in which she expresses remorse over indulging in her pregnancy craving: red meat. Pregnancy cravings are strange like that. They often completely contradict our normal preferences. For one, where I had always loved hamburgers, I could not stand the site of beef while pregnant. I never thought much of unsweetened decaf tea before I was pregnant, but it was one of the only things I drank during my first two trimesters. Those were just my preferences, though; they weren’t based on any kind of moral standards I held concerning beef or tea. I have a tough time imagining how I would reconcile a red meat craving with vegetarianism.

I would guess that Tiffani is not alone in her situation. About twelve million Americans are vegetarians according to a PETA fact sheet. Many of those are likely pregnant women like Tiffani and I’m sure that she is not the only one craving red meat. It could even be a sign that her body needs more iron.

Cravings are extremely difficult to resist during pregnancy. It’s understandable that Tiffani would find herself giving into her red meat cravings. It is hurting her conscience, but it’s not hurting her or her baby. Protein is great for pregnant women. Most cravings are okay to indulge in once in a while. The exception would be cravings for non-food items, which is the case when a woman has a condition known as Pica. Pica is a sign of an iron deficiency and many women with this strange condition will crave things like clay or dirt. Obviously if you find yourself experiencing an intense urge to eat the paint off the wall, you should call your doctor. Addressing the diet deficiency is often enough to quell the odd cravings.

When your cravings contradict your identity or your standards, you have the choice of either temporarily giving in or finding a way to ignore those cravings. You have to ask yourself two questions: (1) how healthy is the food you’re craving? And (2) how important is it that you keep your standards? The answers to those questions will help you decide. If you decide to ignore the craving, but you are having a hard time, try taking a fifteen minute walk. For most women, that alone will curb the craving (at least temporarily).