In one of my favorite movies, Father of the Bride Part II, Diane Keaton and Kimberly Williams play a mother and daughter who conceive around the same time and give birth on the same day. Keaton’s character, Nina, suspects menopause, so it’s assumed that she must be in her fifties. In the US, giving birth beyond age 50 is fairly rare, but it happens more than it used to due to fertility treatments, which allow women of “advanced maternal age” to use the eggs of younger women. Pregnancy in the sixth decade is extremely risky. Surprisingly, risk increases significantly between the late forties and early fifties. Pregnant women who are fifty or older are typically hospitalized three times as often and give birth to babies with low birth weight twice as often, according to a study that was done back in 2006 in Israel. The average gestation age of babies born to older mothers is less than 37 weeks, compared to just over 38.

There are other risks for older mothers, besides those associated with pregnancy and delivery. I think if a women is planning a pregnancy in her fifties, she needs to look beyond the pregnancy. For example, will they need to change their retirement plans? Couples may need to delay retirement or increase their savings every month to account for the added expenses of having a child during retirement. They will also need to consider how they will provide medical insurance for the child if they do retire. Even though women are living longer these days, (the average life span of a women in the United States right now is around 80), she and her partner need to make plans for the child in the event of their death. A college fund or trust fund may be even more important for older parents to arrange, since they may not be around to help out when their child is in college or starting off their own life.

What do you think about the prospect of having a child after 50: would you consider it?

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Recent research conducted at Brigham and Women’s Hospital and Harvard Medical Center revealed that stress during pregnancy increases the child’s risk for asthma. Stress in the mother triggers an immune response, evidenced in the cord blood collected at birth, possibly later heightening their response to inhaled antigens. It stands to reason, therefore, that reducing stress during pregnancy can only have a positive effect on both the baby and the mother.

Most of us immediately want to remove the source of the stress. Sometimes it is simple enough as hiring a babysitter for a few hours or telling someone to mind their own business. But often times, the source of the stress is much more complicated. That does not mean we cannot reduce or eliminate it, it just means we may have to change the way we approach it mentally, physically and emotionally.

If the situation that is causing you stress is beyond your control, embracing your lack of control is what may actually help you to stop worrying about it. First, look for a solution. Make a plan to eliminate the problem. Once you have done everything you can (even if that means nothing), resign yourself to make the best of the situation. For example, one of the sources of stress listed in the study was poverty. Let’s say you cannot pay all of your utilities. If you are unable to make more money and you can’t reduce your usage anymore, you have already called the company and explained your situation, then pay what you are able and refuse to think about it the rest of the time. Thinking about your lack of money will not make more money, nor will it pay your bill. I know this from experience. There is absolutely no benefit to dwelling on what you cannot fix. Focus on the day to day. Make a list of what you do have and enjoy in your life. Gratitude is proven to reduce stress.

Sometimes stress comes from a series of single incidents. They are not necessary things that can be undone or expected to happen again, but they stress us out anyway. A perfect example is a speeding ticket…. followed by leaving the dome light on and killing the battery…. followed by forgetting to let the dog out and finding poop on your new carpet. That kind of day would stress anyone out! It would be pretty difficult to find something that you can be grateful about in light of these incidents. Relief comes in the form of humor instead. If you can’t fix it and you can’t ignore it, at least you can laugh about it. Tragedies make the best comedies. Imagine your life is a sitcom and you are watching it from an objective viewpoint. You would probably laugh at your circumstances. Sometimes that’s all we can do!

When gratitude and laughter fail to alleviate your stress, a little therapy may be in order. I’m not talking about lying on a couch here, I’m talking about retail therapy, aromatherapy, and hydrotherapy. Shopping, sweet smelling candles and a warm bubble bath easily melt all kinds of everyday stresses.

What kinds of things do you do to reduce your stress?

Some myths just keep popping up when it comes to pregnancy. The most pervasive myths tend to be related to gender prediction and it’s not surprising: “girl or boy” is on every pregnant woman’s mind. Predictors include everything from suspending a pencil over the pregnant woman’s belly to which side of the bed she sleep on. These types of myths are easily debunked, but there are a few that seem plausible. One in particular is the correlation between morning sickness and gender. Does the presence or strength of morning sickness predict gender?

There are those that are quick to say yes, morning sickness is always stronger with a boy, or it lasts longer when you’re having a girl. It’s easy to find anecdotal “evidence” in pregnancy forums. Fifty percent of the time, everybody’s right. But in this case, when consistent accuracy is key, the multiple exceptions disprove the rule. There’s no need to do an official medical study since there are plenty of women who will quickly admit that their own pregnancies proved this to be a myth. Morning sickness is triggered by hormones, and it may vary from pregnancy to pregnancy, even if a woman gives birth to all girls or all boys. Personally I know women who had terrible morning sickness with one pregnancy, and no sickness with another, and the babies were the same gender!

The strength of morning sickness may not have anything to do with the gender of the baby, but it might signify a multiple pregnancy (though not always.) More babies does equal more hormones, which could intensify morning sickness. Of course, as with gender, the only way to confirm a multiple pregnancy is with an ultrasound – or birth. Because morning sickness is triggered by increasing hormones, it can also be the sign of a healthy pregnancy. For that reason, sometimes morning sickness is a welcome sign that things are going well, particularly early on. Fortunately for most women, morning sickness wears off after the first trimester.

Just for fun: did you experience morning sickness? Did you have a boy or a girl?

Over the past year I have picked up pointers and ideas from other moms about which baby accessories are essential and which ones are a waste of cash. I’ve also learned a thing or two from experience. One thing I cannot say enough about is the importance of a well packed diaper bag, something I knew nothing about when I was creating my registry. When you are first handed the registry scanner and you begin to puruse the aisles, it can be overwhelming at first. There are so many products to choose from. There are so many things that you may not even realize you need. There are so many you think you’ll need but never end up using. If I could go back and redo my registry, here are some things I would have included or skipped when it came to stocking up the diaper bag.

First of all, when it comes to the basic essentials, everything needs to be travel size. The diaper bags look huge to new moms, but they fill up fast. When you have an infant carrier in one arm and a diaper bag in the other, weight is something to seriously consider. Just because you can fit it in the diaper bag doesn’t mean you’ll want to. If you see something you like to use in travel size, add it to your registry.

Diapering:

When choosing a diaper bag, pick one that has a built in changing pad. The separate changing pads take up way to much valuable space in the main compartment of your diaper bag. Find a small compact wipes case and refill it as necessary. I made the mistake of thinking I would just carry a tub of wipes around. It’s not a bad idea to keep a tub in the car, but don’t try to pack it in the bag. Other things to add to your list: hand sanitizer, Wet Ones antibacterial wipes (for cleaning hands, tables,carts, etc.), diaper rash cream, a small tube of diaper baggies to clip on the bag (they hold dirty bibs, too), and a single washcloth (for catching stray pee streams). Skip the designer cups that you place over your baby boy’s privates – they won’t stay put.

First Aid:

It is a good idea to include small versions of everyday medicines like acetaminophen and even infant gas drops. You may also want a small thermometer (I like the pacifier style, myself) and a suction bulb. Stores sell all kind of first aid kits that are supposedly made for traveling, but they take up too much space, in my opinion. They also contain items that you might use once in a while at home, but not necessarily on a trip to Grandma’s house or the mall.

Toys:

There are tons of toys available that feature clips. You might think these will be perfect for the diaper bag, but most babies end up preferring to play with your grocery list anyway. Instead, include a teething ring and something else that makes noise. Sometimes a burp cloth will hold their attention longer than a toy.

Miscellaneous:

Pack one spare outfit (not something bulky), one or two bibs, and a burp cloth. For when your baby is a little older, a sippy cup and a snack container are essential. If you are bottle feeding, a bottle filled with water and a travel container for formula powder are perfect. Things to skip: restaurant placemats (you can use the antibacterial wipes ), shopping cart covers, and travel wipe warmers.

When it comes to your health, everything is connected. Your body is a system, and when one part is not well, symptoms show up throughout the rest of the body. When you’re pregnant, your baby’s health is affected as well, and that is why it is so important to do everything you can to stay healthy. That includes getting enough rest, eating a balanced diet, exercising and talking to a doctor when you think something might be wrong. Your teeth are no exception. In fact, your oral health is directly tied to your pregnancy. According to a study done at the University of Pennsylvania, women with untreated gum disease were more likely to give birth prematurely. Untreated gum disease also led to tooth decay in their children.

X-rays during pregnancy may be limited or restricted, but a routine cleaning and exam should not be skipped due to a pregnancy. Women are particularly susceptible to Gingivitis during pregnancy due to increased levels of progesterone. Gingivitis may cause your gums to bleed while you brush. An extra cleaning may be recommended by your dentist to prevent problems.

You can be proactive about your oral health by taking good care of your teeth and gums at home. Besides brushing twice a day, you should also avoid snacking too much throughout the day, especially on foods that are rich in carbohydrates or sugars. The best snack options are raw fruits and vegetables or dairy products like cheese and yogurt. If you do snack, it’s not a bad idea to brush afterward. Drinking water is always preferable to drinking soda. Chewing sugar-free gum has also been shown to be good for your mouth.

Do your mouth and your baby a favor: take good care of your teeth and gums! Floss, brush, rinse and visit your dentist!

On a recent trip to visit a friend in the hospital after she had her baby, I noticed that her room had a flat screen TV mounted on the wall. I had a TV in my hospital room, but it wasn’t that nice! I began to wonder what kind of accommodations might be available at the hospitals in larger, wealthier cities. As I started looking at different birthing centers and hospitals in cities like New York City, I realized my hunch was spot on. Some centers offer amenities like concierge service, leather couches, wooden floors, spa tubs and giant flat screen TVs. These extras are not usually covered by typical insurance policies, however, so they are usually reserved for those who can afford to pay out of pocket. The prices for these rooms are comparable to upscale hotels. It’s no wonder celebrities check into these facilities weeks before their due date.

Extras like leather couches and concierge service seem a little frivolous. I look back on my hospital experience and I just don’t think I would have had the chance to enjoy them. I was so focused on my new baby and recovery. If anyone would have benefited from luxury accommodations, it would have been my husband, who ended up driving back to our house nearby because he couldn’t sleep on the stiff hide-a-bed chair in my room. The one thing the hospital offered that my husband still talks about were the $1 cappuccinos from the hallway machine. I don’t think he would have blinked twice if a concierge walked into the room, unless he was delivering a couple of those cappuccinos.

If I could build my ideal mother & baby room at the hospital, I would include remote control blinds to darken the room without getting out of bed when I want to sleep, a laptop with wi-fi to e-mail my family pictures of the new baby, a comfortable extra bed so my husband can actually sleep in the room with me, and plenty of extra chairs for guests.

What would you put in your ideal hospital room?

Vitamins are best absorbed from their natural sources: food! One of the most important vitamins a pregnant woman needs is folic acid. The American Pregnancy Association recommends that all women of childbearing age get about 400 micrograms of folic acid every day. Folic acid is used by the body to make the extra blood your body needs during pregnancy. A deficiency can increase your baby’s chances of developing spina bifida or anencephaly, both of which are serious birth defects.

So which foods have the most of this essential nutrient? Liver is on the top of the list, but that is definitely not on the top of everyone’s list of favorite foods. Other foods rich in folic acid include: egg yolks, chicken giblets, dried beans and lentils, split peas, almonds, nuts, whole grains, potatoes, sweet potatoes, spinach, broccoli, cabbage, asparagus, bananas, oranges and peaches.

Here are some tasty ideas for including these foods in your diet:

For breakfast, make yourself some whole grain toast and an omelet with baby spinach and feta cheese (pasteurized). Slice a banana and use it to top your favorite fortified cereal.

Lunch offers quite a few different meal options. Many soups are full of beans, lentils, split peas, and potatoes. You could also make yourself a salad with baby spinach, sliced strawberries, slivered almonds and poppy seed dressing.

For dinner you could add a side dish like sweet potato fries (my favorite), steamed broccoli with melted cheese, or curried cabbage. One of my favorite meals, which just happens to include asparagus, is the Chicken Madeira at The Cheesecake Factory. I never liked asparagus until I had it drizzled with Madeira sauce!

Bananas and oranges make great snacks, especially since it’s easy to throw one in your purse or bag in the morning. Peaches are delectable in a cobbler for dessert.

With all these meal options and the countless others you’re bound to find on various recipe sites, it’s easy to get your recommended amount of folic acid the natural (and tasty) way.

We already know that BPA is dangerous. It has been linked to fertility problems, cancer, and sexual dysfunction in men, among other defects. There has been a big push to remove BPA from the plastics that we come in contact with every day. If you walk through the baby aisle, you’ll notice that most of the bottles are in packaging boldly marked, “BPA Free.” Many people have switched to using aluminum water bottles as a precaution as well. We know BPA is dangerous, and we have taken steps to protect ourselves and our families, but now we know more about why it is so dangerous in the first place.

According to research done at the Yale School of Medicine, exposure to BPA in the womb may cause lifelong problems and the reason has to do with permanent chemical alteration of DNA. The compound causes permanent abnormalities in the uterus of babies who are exposed in the womb and literally alters their DNA. BPA exposure triggers an exaggerated response to estrogen that lasts throughout adulthood. This heightened sensitivity to estrogen is what causes problems long after the initial exposure, such as cancer and infertility. Unfortunately, the damage is permanent.

To protect yourself and limit your exposure to BPA:

• *Limit your consumption of canned foods and drinks, since the lining of these metal cans contain BPA.
• *Store your leftovers in glass containers rather than plastic. Who doesn’t love Pyrex anyway?
• *Filter your drinking water to remove traces of BPA that have been found in water.
• *Use an unlined stainless steel bottle to carry your beverages.
• *Switch your hard plastic utensils and other kitchen items with wooden, glass or metal versions.
• *Take a folic acid supplement while pregnant, which may protect your baby against the effects of inevitable BPA exposure.

You may crave sweets during pregnancy, but eating too much sugar will increase your chances of having a big baby and subsequent complications during labor. Everything you eat, your baby eats, too, so eating a balanced and healthy diet is important. That being said, no one expects you to cut out sweets altogether. Here are some tips for curbing that sweet tooth.

1. Go for a quick walk. Taking a fifteen minute walk has been proven to reduce cravings, according to a study published in the journal Appetite. So if you’ve already met your dessert quota for a day, hit the pavement.

2. Indulge once in a while, but only a little. If you completely deprive yourself of your favorite sweets, eventually you’ll cave in and binge.

3. Put a small portion of your favorite snack in your purse so that you’ll be less likely to swing through the drive through and overdo it.

4. Stock up on your favorite fruits. As soon as you get home from the store, prepare and portion out the fruit so it’s easy to grab and enjoy. Try mixing favorites for a delicious fruit salad. My favorite combination is sliced bananas and strawberries!

5. Fill up on healthy foods and drink plenty of water so that you’re not left feeling hungry at the end of the day. When bed time rolls around and your stomach is growling, the stage is set for a major pigging-out session.

6. Brush your teeth right after you eat your meal. Dessert won’t sound so appealing once your mouth is minty fresh. Toothpaste tends to make food taste bad.

7. Don’t chew gum. It will only trigger more sweet cravings!

8. Reduce your portions and eat very slowly when you do enjoy a dessert. You don’t need the calories, anyway; dessert’s purpose is for the flavor. You’ll get the flavor without the excess calories if you learn how to truly savor every bite.