Becoming a mom requires a whole new set of skills. Besides the obvious skills like changing diapers, feeding and bathing the baby, you have to relearn how to do all sorts of things for yourself, too. Just for fun, here are some things you might want to learn in advance, before you bring your baby home.

Speed Eating
A newborn’s needs are urgent, yet unpredictable. You never know when they will wake up and suddenly need to be fed. You might be in the middle of dinner, but they won’t care! To make sure you get to eat, you have to learn to eat very fast. Prepare meals while the baby is asleep and store them in the fridge in single servings so you can always grab something and pop it in the microwave when you have time. Once you have your meal in front of you, waste no time in eating it. Your family will be amazed by how quickly you can polish off an entire dinner in just minutes. It’s a skill that will come in handy for many years to come.

Doing Everything With One Hand
Some baby’s simply must be held or nursed around the clock. You will go crazy if you never get off the couch, so it’s essential to learn how to do anything with one hand. I could do laundry, load the dishwasher, type an e-mail and apply makeup with one hand, all while holding my son like a football.

Meal Planning
There’s no time to stand in front of the pantry and mull over what you want to make for dinner when you have a baby. It’s best to sit down at the beginning of the week and plan out your meals. You can write them out on a calender and hang it on the fridge. Use your meal plan to go grocery shopping and avoid buying food you won’t use. When dinner time comes around, you will know right away what you need to pull from the pantry and you won’t have to worry when your family asks you, “what’s for dinner?”

Speed Showering
There’s nothing worse than stepping out of the shower and hearing your baby wail. You wonder how long they were crying and you begin to stress about taking showers in the first place. The answer is to shower at the speed of light. If you can shave your legs, soap up your back and rinse the conditioner from your hair all at the same time, you’re doing it right.

Navigating Your House In The Dark
It doesn’t matter if you plan on breastfeeding or bottle feeding, you’ll still have to find your baby in the dark to feed her. If you stub your toe in route to her crib, it will only make the midnight feeding session that much more difficult. It’s hard enough dragging yourself out of bed at 3am! Make a habit of clearing the floor before you go to bed so you don’t trip.

When you’re trying to get pregnant, the sight of your menstrual period can be disappointing, even devastating sometimes. But for mothers who breastfeed and are beginning to think about getting pregnant again, a period is a welcome sign of returning fertility. A few women ovulate before their period returns, and that is why people will always warn you to use birth control while nursing if you don’t want to get pregnant, but for most the first period indicates that ovulation is on its way. It’s not very often a woman wishes for her period, but this is definitely one of those cases.

The average time it takes for a woman’s period to return when she is nursing is 14 months, but it can vary a great deal. I’ve read cases where it took 22 months and I’ve heard of women who get a visit from “Aunt Flo” just 6 weeks after delivery. It would appear that returning fertility is directly tied to nursing, and it is to some extent, but there are always plenty of exceptions. Plenty of women begin to ovulate even though they are still nursing. Weaning doesn’t necessarily guarantee the return of your cycle right away, either.

You might be wondering how much control you have over your fertility and whether you need to wean your toddler in order to conceive again. Fortunately, very few women need to go as far as to wean completely to get pregnant again. Usually reducing the frequency or duration of breastfeeding is all it will take to allow fertility to return. An abrupt change, such as the baby sleeping through the night, is especially effective. You could also try eliminating a daytime feeding as well.

Another thing to consider is that your body probably knows when it is ready to carry a pregnancy again. You may just want to let nature take its course and wait a few more months. After all, if your toddler is still nursing, he or she may not be ready to share you with a sibling anyway.

This week last year, I was walking laps around my house, around the block, around the mall and just about everywhere else. I was massaging every square inch of my ankles and feet. I was ordering the spiciest burritos on the menu at San Jose’s. I was watching TV in a squatting position and mopping the floors full speed. I was doing all these things because I was 39 weeks pregnant and completely sick of it. At one point, I burst into tears and sobbed to my husband, “I don’t want to be pregnant anymore!!” The last few weeks of pregnancy can seem so long, be full of so much discomfort and you’d think they would cure any women from wanting another child. The only think you can do is try to think of creative ways to pass the time so you forget you are so close to your due date.

If the nesting urge has hit, it’s a good time to throw yourself into those home projects with all of your focus. If you’ve cleaned everything in sight, start organizing. After all, you probably won’t get a chance to do so for the next year! Need some ideas? How about going through your makeup bag? Throw away everything that is discolored, broken, smelly or ugly. Make a list of items you want to replace. Wash and dry all of your brushes. Wipe out the make-up case before restocking. Or, when is the last time you cleaned the baseboards? Dust is always getting swept from the corners of the rooms, but the baseboards are often neglected. You may not even notice how dirty they are until you see your baby picking dust bunnies off of them and tasting them. Grab a sponge and some warm water with just a little bit of soap. Some women swear they went into labor because they were crawling around on their hands and knees, so it can’t hurt, right?

If you don’t feel like cleaning, rent a bunch of movies and have a movie night with your husband or your friends. Make some popcorn and add in your favorite movie snacks. You could always watch all the movies on my list of favorite pregnancy-themed movies here.

Another fun way to distract yourself is to take a mini-weekend vacation somewhere nearby, also known as a babymoon. Even if you’re in the next town, spending a night or two at a hotel can really help you to relax and have fun. Pick a hotel with a pool, since the water will make you feel weightless and relieve a lot of the discomfort common in late pregnancy.

What are some other ways you like to distract yourself and relax?

Nearly two months ago I blogged about a study conducted in Australia that claimed “baby brain,” or the memory loss many pregnant women claim to experience, is all in our heads. I believe my response was, “They are nuts!” If you read my story about getting lost in my own town, you’d understand why. Well now there is another study that comes from the University of Bradford that links pregnancy hormones to spacial memory loss, (think, “where did I leave my keys?” or “how do I get home from here?”) This is almost as confusing as the contradictory research about eggs being healthy or not. Except in this case, I don’t need official research to prove the obvious. I remember my memory loss! (Ha.)

The study compared a group of pregnant woman against a group of non-pregnant woman over the period of about a year, during pregnancy and three months after. All the women were given spacial memory tests and had their mood, anxiety levels and attention spans tested. Their hormone levels were also measured. The pregnant women scored ten percent lower than the non-pregnant women across the board. Besides spacial memory loss, pregnant women were found to experience more depression and anxiety. That’s no surprise. When you walk into a room five times in a row and still can’t remember why, you’re bound to feel depressed or anxious.

The researchers did mention that while the spacial memory loss experienced during pregnancy was a real symptom, more research is needed to determine whether hormones are the only cause. Loss of sleep and stress could also account for slightly reduced memory function. If that were the case, I would have been a lost cause in college. I still maintain that pregnancy causes memory loss and there are multitudes of women out there who will testify along with me.

It happened very quickly. I woke up one morning and my hands felt slightly stiff. As I curled my fingers and tried to make a fist I realized they felt… fat. I managed to turn on the light, only to see what looked like someone else’s hand, with fingers that could only be described as marshmallows. Ah, pregnancy induced edema: it’s not just “cankles” you have to worry about.

The part that bothered me the most was the fact that my wedding ring no longer fit. I don’t wear a lot of rings, but my wedding ring is very special to me and I’m sure many of you readers can understand. I also didn’t like looking single. I felt like I would walk out into the world with my large pregnant belly and immediately be judged. So, I found a new home for my wedding ring and a new ring for my swollen finger.

I didn’t want to leave my wedding ring in a box for the next several months, so I dug out a white gold chain and removed the pendant. I slid the ring onto the chain and wore it as a necklace on most days. One of my friends was selling Lia Sophia jewelry at the time and I booked a party hoping to snag some free jewelry. I found the perfect wedding ring stand-in: a silver ring with tiny crystals and mother-of-pearl set in the wide band. It was completely different from my wedding ring and yet totally glamorous. Even better, it gave my swollen fingers room to breath and room to grow. I don’t care if it doesn’t fit me now, I’m holding onto it for the next time I get pregnant!

Did your hands swell up when you were pregnant? What did you do with your favorite rings? Did you move them to a different finger? Slide them onto a chain and wear them as a necklace? Or did you store them away until you could wear them again?

Here is a list of some of my favorite movies featuring pregnancy:

Fools Rush In
I’m a sucker for dramatic child birth scenes in movies, and I know I’m not the only one! When Salma Hayek goes into labor on the bridge in the pouring rain, Matthew Perry yells, “but we’re on a dam!” as though that mattered! Every time she screams, he screams with her and his face is priceless. I always tear up when they cuddle their new baby girl together for the first time.

Knocked Up
I love how this movie brought up all the awkward issues of pregnancy and made them so funny. I still can’t believe the shot at the end when she is pushing the baby out. Did they really show that? (Oh yes, they did.) It may have not been entirely realistic, but I think it’s safe to say that movie might have proven to be effective birth control for quite a few teens out there.

Rugged Gold (Made for TV Movie – 1994)
I’ll be honest, I don’t remember anything about this movie save for one scene in which the main character gives birth all by herself in a cabin in the middle of the Alaskan wilderness. Ever since I saw that scene (I was in middle school at the time), I knew I wanted to give birth naturally. The way she harnessed herself up on the bed and yelled with that final push… her toughness inspired me. I thought she was the coolest woman on the planet. It didn’t hurt that the movie was based on a true story, either.

Baby Mama
I don’t think I stopped laughing throughout this whole movie and the ending even managed to be sweet. Tina Fey and Amy Poehler are so funny together. Fey’s determination to control everything and Poehler’s attempts to fake a pregnancy are a perfect pair. In the end, they are both surprised!

Juno
I can’t make a list of pregnancy-themed movies without including this one, even if the ending made me cry! “Someday you’ll be back here honey… on your terms.”

I recently read that Gisele Bundchen had her pregnant belly airbrushed out of her fashion photo shoots because her pregnancy was “too sacred” to share with the world. What a striking statement to make in contrast to the very public belly (and body) baring photos that have been featured on magazine covers by celebrities like Britney Spears, Demi Moore, and Christina Aguilera. Showing off your pregnant belly is the norm these days, not hiding it. All you have to do is do a Google image search for “pregnant” and you’ll find thousands of women, not just celebrities, showing off their bumps in all stages of pregnancy (sometimes even postpartum). I wasn’t as surprised by the way she hid her pregnancy as I was about the reason. Usually, when a woman hides her pregnant figure it means she does not like how it looks, or she is trying to be modest. Hiding it because it’s sacred? That one I’ve never heard before.

I think what may set a woman like Gisele apart from the rest of us (besides the obvious) is the fact that her body is always on display. It makes sense that she would want to keep this part of her life private. It is the opposite for many women, since pregnancy might be the only time they find themselves uploading pictures of their midriff onto the internet. It’s a time when they can be proud of their midsection, regardless of how flat or toned it was before. People are entranced by pregnant bellies, however big or small. Pregnant women are especially always comparing pregnancy to pregnancy, month to month, wondering if they are carrying high or low, big or small.

People feel like they are entitled to see pictures of a woman when she is pregnant, but I think it really should be the woman’s choice. I don’t think it was wrong for Gisele to request that her pictures were airbrushed. I’m sure she has plenty of belly pictures at home for her family to admire.

Over the past few years, as many of my friends have gotten pregnant and had their own families, I’ve gotten to witness a wide variety of reactions to the changes that happen to a pregnant woman’s body. Some women embrace their new curves and flaunt them with fitted maternity clothes. These are the same women who eagerly take photos of their growing belly every week. Some avoid wearing maternity clothes until the last minute, wincing at their growing reflection in the mirror. You’ll be lucky to see their baby belly in their profile picture. Some hardly think twice about what they look like, and welcome the chance to stop calorie counting and worrying about their jean size for nine months.

Personally, I loved everything about my pregnant body. Part of this was because I was so excited to become a mother. Part of it was because of the attention that came along with pregnancy. And part of it was because I thought the maternity clothes were so cute (not anything like the frocks and panel jeans of the 80s!). I also loved the way my big belly drew the attention away from my other “problem areas.”

In general, even though we experience different levels of acceptance of our own pregnant bodies, the vast majority of people look at pregnant women in awe and see beauty. There is something so captivating about a pregnant woman. Perhaps it is the wonder of carrying life or the fact that we rarely see women in those final months. I attended a small concert with friends just a few weeks before I was due, and many of them could not help but stare at my belly. They had never seen a women so pregnant before. I can’t blame them, neither had I! I also stared in the mirror every morning, completely blown away that my skin had been able to stretch that far.

Did you feel beautiful when you are pregnant or do you struggle with your body image?

Have you ever wondered what would happen if a woman was pregnant and had to go to jail for a long time? I would hope none of my readers would ever face such a situation, but it does happen. Unfortunately, most stories do not have good endings. As I poured through dozens of accounts of incarcerated women and their pregnancies, I realized that childbirth is not a time of joy and excitement for many imprisoned women, instead, the experience is tainted with fear and the dread of leaving their babies, possibly forever.

In 1994, the Bureau of Justice Statistics reported that 3% of women in federal prisons were pregnant at the time of admittance. I couldn’t find any more recent data on the number of pregnant women in prison, but I did find that the numbers of women being imprisoned has risen considerably since that report, so it can only be assumed that the number of pregnant women in prison has risen as well.

Women with healthy pregnancies are cared for by prison health services, but those with high risk pregnancies are taken to an outside hospital by a prison guard. For many women, this trip to the outside world is humiliating, as they are often strip searched and shackled.

When it comes time to give birth, women are supposed to be taken to the hospital, but I read several stories of women whose cries were ignored and they ended up giving birth in their cells all alone. Those who gave birth in the hospital still faced the pain of spending only 24 hours with their baby before returning to jail. Some women have no one to care for their child in the outside world and lose their child to the foster care system. In some states, parental rights are terminated after two years and the women never see their child again.

Nine states have prison nursery programs, which allow imprisoned women to keep their newborns with them for a limited, set amount of time. Some states also run community based programs that allow women to serve their sentence and parent their child outside of the prison walls. More and more people are speaking up for these programs, since it is believed that allowing imprisoned women to raise their children in the controlled setting will help them turn their lives around and reduce the likelihood of recidivism. The bond they develop with their child will inspire them to work hard at providing a better life for their child and will motivate them to stay out of trouble in the future.

When my son was born, I packed the basics and didn’t think much beyond the toothpaste and underwear while throwing my hospital bag together. The next time around, however, I plan on going the extra mile by adding a little glamour. Anyone who has ever seen pictures of themselves after delivery knows how nice it would be to add a little sparkle to their tired face and the baggy hospital night gown, as well as the bland delivery room.

First of all, I’m putting my sister on beauty duty. It will be her job to make sure my lips are shiny and my face is glowing before the paparazzi enters the room. She will also be in charge of making sure my hair doesn’t look like the dog slept on it. And if my hospital gown threatens to fail at its job of covering me up, she will be there to prevent any wardrobe malfunctions. (Right, sis?)

Second, I am bringing something to wear after the delivery that will be a little more nursing friendly. I plan on buying something colorful, comfortable, and accessible. The hospital gown leaves you with no other option than dropping the whole front to nurse. Some women are comfortable with exposing the top half of their torso, but not everyone wants to give the whole staff a show every two hours, right?

I would also like to add a little extra flair to the celebration. I recently saw photos of a birth where the new mom made the cutest little favors to hand out to her guests. Each handmade box was beautifully decorated with her new daughters name. They also decorated champagne glasses for a toast. I like the idea of giving guests a little souvenir from their visit. I also think it would be fun to toast with a little sparkling cider with our friends and family.

I certainly don’t want to leave the nurses and the doctors out of the picture, either. Next time I would like to make a few baskets ahead of time, one for the doctor and one for the nurses. I would include cookies and other treats, as well as a thank you card for all their hard work and attentiveness.

Did you bring anything special to the delivery room?