If your family owns a dog and you are expecting a baby, you might be wondering how to prepare your family pet for the baby’s arrival. Here are some tips and precautions for introducing a baby to a home with a dog.

Before the baby is born, play some tracks of a baby crying. If the dog starts barking or becomes aggressive at the sound, correct him. You want the dog to think nothing of this sound, because he will be hearing it quite often soon enough and you don’t want it to trigger aggressive (or just plain annoying) behavior.

You should crate train your dog before the baby is born. Once the baby arrives, you will need to be able to put the dog in the crate as necessary. Babies and dogs should never be left alone together, not even for two seconds.

Before bringing the baby home, get some new toys for the dog to keep it occupied. You want to draw the focus away from the baby. The dog will not automatically know that the baby is a small human. You will have to make sure to teach the dog that the baby is not something to be played with.

When the baby comes home, make the dog sit and stay across the room. Do not allow the dog to rush up to the new baby or cause a commotion. Try to keep everything quiet and try not to draw too much attention to the baby. Spend some time with your dog apart from the baby first.

Never allow the dog into the baby’s room at any time.

Never allow the dog to sniff or lick the baby. There are numerous reasons for this. You do not need to allow the dog to sniff the baby. Dog’s have an amazing sense of smell; they can pick up the baby’s scent from across the room. It is your job to establish the baby’s dominance over the dog. You can begin to do this by establishing a bubble of space around the baby and the baby’s things that the dog is not allowed to cross.

On the same token, never allow the dog to sniff or lick any of the baby’s belongings. The dog should be trained to stay away from anything that smells like the baby. The baby and its things are one and the same to the dog. Some people will tell you to give the dog one of the baby’s blankets. This is a terrible idea. It is important to establish boundaries.

For many women, the relationship they have with their spouse’s parent or parents can be a tedious one. When a new bride steps into the picture, she is entering established territory: a family with a long history and its own set of rules, expectations and hang-ups. Sometimes you see a woman form a strong friendship with her new mother-in-law, but more often than not, there is a little turbulence. It’s understandable; his parents may feel like they are losing a family member or they might be concerned about his new life. Some moms have a difficult time letting go and take it personally when the new woman in their son’s life does things a little differently. Family gatherings can become a little tense when the wife and the mom don’t see eye to eye.

Pregnancy has the potential to build strong bonds between a woman and her mother-in-law. For no longer are they mother and wife to the same man; instead they are two moms, each with their own child. But on the flip side, pregnancy can worsen an already tedious relationship. They are mother and grandmother to the same sweet baby, which can be the foundation for even more arguments over the best way to raise the child. The conflict simply shifts from the subject of the husband to the child and nothing has changed.

If you find yourself in the second scenario, and are already bumping heads with your spouse’s parents about the way you will parent your child, you have a rocky road ahead, but not an impossible one. The ball is in your court, as the mother, because this new life is ultimately your responsibility, not the grandparents’.

When you’re talking about subjects such as whether you will work or stay home, for example, be respectful of their opinion but be firm about your own. Do not criticize them; after all they raised your husband and he turned out OK, right? At the same time, if you are unsure about something, don’t even discuss the subject. They will respect you for having a firm stance if you can back it up, but if you haven’t really made up your mind, they will either feel uneasy or try to make up your mind for you. Both outcomes are undesirable. Even though most people have very strong opinions about parenting, there is no one set way to raise a child. Every decision throughout the child’s life will have to be carefully considered in light of both the child’s needs and the surrounding circumstances. What worked for your husband as a kid may not work for your child. Take it as it comes. Be graceful and understanding. Most importantly, be kind!

Include your in-laws as much as possible with the lighter aspects of pregnancy. Involve your mother-in-law with shower planning, registering for gifts, picking out nursery items and clothes, and decorating. Invite your father-in-law to help out with putting the nursery furniture together or finishing up last minute projects before the baby arrives. This is an area in which your in-laws can feel important and involved, and chances are, no one is going to get into a heated argument over which outfit your baby comes home in or in which corner you place the crib.

Getting along with your in-laws is all about dodging the mountains that don’t really matter and jumping into the puddles that do. Allow your spouse to be the one to approach serious subjects if necessary. Be confident in your ability as a wife and mother, and hopefully over time, your in-laws will fall in love with you the same way your spouse did, and accept you with all your quirks and differences. But since you weren’t “there first,” you’ll have to graciously do so first. You don’t have to agree with them on every point, but his parents deserve respect for raising the father of your child. If you married him, they must have done something right!

Do your eyes water more than usual when you chop an onion? Does shaping hamburger into a burger patty make your stomach curl up into a little ball? Do you dread meal time, even when you’re not eating it? Is your family tired of eating cereal because you can’t handle the aromas (or stench) of dinner on the stove? Morning sickness isn’t just triggered by tastes; smells can have you turning green as well. Even if you’re not eating the items on your “make-me-sick” list, you may find cooking them for your family is unbearable. To cope, stop feeling guilty and try some of these tips:

1. Give yourself permission to order takeout or delivery. For most women, morning sickness and strong aversions to certain odors and tastes fades after the first trimester or early in the second trimester. Cut back on other expenses, if you must, and let someone else do the cooking once or twice a week. Your family won’t mind!

2. Buy semi-prepared meals in the refrigerated/freezer section to avoid stomach churning tasks such as tenderizing or browning meat, chopping onions, etc.

3. Prepare cold meals, such as sub sandwiches to cut down or eliminate strong kitchen smells. Just don’t make egg or tuna salad sandwiches! (Unless those smells don’t bother you, of course.) Salad wraps are another healthy option: roll up spinach leaves and other tasty veggies with sauce and microwaved chicken strips. (Skip the chicken if it’s a trigger.)

4. Enlist help in the kitchen. Explain to your kids or your spouse that you will be needing extra assistance for a while until the baby decides that strong smells aren’t so bad after all. Making meatloaf? Let your husband mix the meat and press it into the pan. Give kids age appropriate tasks, too.

5. Burn an odor neutralizing candle in the kitchen to help prevent and remove nausea-inducing smells from the kitchen area.

6. Keep a lemon wedge nearby. If waves of nausea begin to build, quickly place the wedge under your nose and inhale deeply. Lemon helps reduce nausea and definitely blocks stinky cooking smells.

By now you’ve likely heard about Maj. Gen. Anthony Cucolo’s policy in Iraq for pregnant soldiers. Last month he listed pregnancy as a reason for court-martialing soldiers, meaning female soldiers who become pregnant while on duty in Iraq are not only immediately sent home, which is already standard policy, but could face jail time. This morning he backed off, saying he would never actually jail a pregnant woman, but was trying to make a point. Seven soldiers have already been punished under the new policy, receiving letters of reprimand.

First of all, I understand his reasoning to a point: when a soldier becomes pregnant and is sent home, the unit she leaves behind is left in a weaker state without her. “Anyone who leaves this fight earlier than the expected 12-month deployment creates a burden on their teammates,” Cucolo said in a written statement. On the otherhand, the punishment was intended for all soldiers, even married couples. That seems a little ridiculous to me, since having a family should be a basic human right. It shouldn’t be controlled by the government, not even in times or turf of war.

I’m wondering if he really intended to punish pregnant women that severely and is now taking a different stance because of the public’s reaction. Terry O’Neill, president of the National Organization for Women, is quoted as saying, “How dare any government say we’re going to impose any kind of punishment on women for getting pregnant. This is not the 1800s.” I have to agree with her. Anybody who has ever tried to get pregnant or prevent pregnancy realizes that aside from abstinence, it’s not entirely in a person’s control. The government certainly can’t expect married couples stationed in Iraq to abstain during their 12 month stay.

What is your opinion on pregnant women in the military?

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It’s one of the most common complaints in pregnancy. The most regular of women can suddenly find themselves all stopped up. It’s extremely uncomfortable, even downright painful sometimes. Constipation during pregnancy is caused by the hormone progesterone which slows digestion, and is often made worse by all the iron in your prenatal vitamins. Fortunately there are some things you can do to help with constipation that are completely safe for you and your baby.

• * First of all, talk to your doctor about your prenatal vitamin. It may have more iron than you need. There are many different supplements out there and they are not all the same. Your doctor may even switch you over to a children’s vitamin that has less iron if your constipation is too severe.
• * Add fiber to your diet. You can do this by eating more whole grains and fresh fruits and vegetables each day. Bran muffins are delicious and a great way to get more fiber. You can also use fiber supplement powder when you cook to add fiber to all of your meals.
• * Increase you water intake. Eight glasses a day is great, but some pregnant women may need ten glasses. Remember that your body is using up a lot of water to increase your blood volume by up to fifty percent by the end of your pregnancy!
• * Drink a glass of prune juice or apple juice once per day. Prune juice is famous for easing constipation – just don’t drink too much!
• * Get moving! Exercise can help relieve constipation. Try going for a walk every day or doing some light aerobic exercise with a prenatal workout DVD.
• * If you feel like you need to use the bathroom, do so right away. Waiting until later might make the problem worse. You may just have to get over your fear of clearing out the public restroom.
• * Don’t strain. You could give yourself a hemorrhoid or worse. If you are desperate and in serious pain, contact your doctor right away.

There are milestones in a person’s life that dramatically impact her relationships with the people around her: learning to drive and gaining independence, going off to college, getting married, and having children are just a few. Her first pregnancy, the prelude to parenthood, has the potential to inspire, alienate, divide and strengthen the relationships in her life. How she copes with these changes can affect the bond between her and her child, her spouse, her parents, her in-laws and her friends. In the spirit of Christmas and family-togetherness, over the next few days, we’ll be discussing how pregnancy impacts each of these important relationships and practical steps a pregnant woman can take to preserve and improve on those bonds.

Two things will characterize positive change: love and grace. One thing leads to disaster: pride. Before a person can even approach a broken or non-existent relationship, she must first look at herself. She must know what her priorities are and what she desires to get out of a relationship. She has to be honest with herself and know exactly what she is willing to put into these relationships and be consistent. She must identify any roadblocks, such as disagreements, and fix the areas for which she is responsible.

Pregnancy is the perfect time to do “first-aid” on the relationships in your life. In itself, pregnancy is already a catalyst for change. It is the number one reason women quit smoking. It motivates many women to finally eat a healthy diet and exercise. As New Years Eve approaches and many of us prepare our resolutions, why not add a few to the list. You have nine months (or less) to set the stage for the social and emotional environment in which your child grows up. Create strong bonds with your in-laws. Repair the damage done to the relationship with your parents. Fix the cracks in your marriage and turn it into a rock-solid relationship that will stand the test of time. Create lasting friendships that will carry you through the highs and lows of parenthood and beyond. Your example will impact how your child forms, protects and preserves her relationships for the rest of her life. Are you ready?

A baby shower may be one of the most exciting and fun milestones in your first pregnancy. Nothing makes you feel more prepared to welcome the baby kicking your ribs then piles of adorable clothes, toys, gear and diapers. It’s generally accepted that you only get to have a baby shower for your first baby. Subsequent pregnancies? Tough luck. But are there exceptions to this “rule?”

A few scenarios where a second shower may be acceptable come to mind:

1. It’s been five years or more since you had a baby and you have already gotten rid of your baby gear.
Obviously if you have tossed or donated your baby gear, it’s likely this baby is a surprise and your family and friends will want to help out. You may want to have a friend or family member host a shower for you after the baby is born and call it a “Welcome Baby” party or something similar.

2. It’s been five years or more and you’re having a different gender.
Do you have a kindergartener decked out in princess attire every day? If you’re expecting a boy, he may not appreciate being swaddled in a pink polka-dotted blanket. (You’ll care more than he does, but still!)

The reason I specify five years is because people often spend a lot on gifts for baby showers. If a women has a shower sooner than five years, guests may either feel pressured to spend more than they are comfortable with or they might feel entitled to spend less and the guest of honor will still be left with a long list of needed gear. Five years isn’t a hard rule, but a lot of woman have children two, three, and four years apart – having a second shower at this interval might seem a bit much. Generally friends and family will give the new baby a small gift anway, especially clothing and toys.

3. It is the first baby for the spouse.
A woman may have another baby shower if the baby is the first child of her spouse, as would be the case if she were divorced or widowed with children. In this case, friends and family of the spouse will definitely want to throw a shower for the new baby, since they weren’t around for the mother-to-be’s first children.

What is your opinion on having a second baby shower? Can you think of any other exceptions where a second shower would be acceptable?

It’s unofficially baby shower week here on the pregnancy blog. If you haven’t done so already, read about whether or not you should get a second baby shower and whether you have to play shower games, Monday and Tuesday’s topics, respectively.

Earlier this week I was speaking with a friend about planning – you guessed it – a baby shower. Apparently someone suggested that our pregnant friend should have the shower after the baby was born, and others insisted she have it before. So which is better: before or after?

I’m going to go on the record and say that having a baby shower before the baby is born is better for a number of reasons. I understand that if you have the shower afterward, the baby’s health, gender and well-being are a sure thing, and the guests have the privilege of meeting the new baby at the shower, but those are the only perks I see.

Reasons to have your baby shower before you have the baby:

1. Laundry
Most mommies-to-be leave the baby shower with loads and loads of gifts that need to be pre-laundered, such as blankets, crib sheets, clothing, etc. If I remember correctly, it took me a couple days to remove tags, sort, launder, fold and put away everything. As a mother, I now know how much longer it would have taken me if I was limited to nap times and the answer is: too long. And what about the baby: would he or she wear hospital clothes and swaddling blankets until I had the chance to finish?

2. Organization
Going through everything else, opening it, removing tags and packaging, and finding a home for it in the nursery also took a very long time. See #1.

3. Freedom to Enjoy the Shower
If you attend your shower before the baby is born, the only thing slowing you down on the way up to the buffet line is that waddle that makes you so cute. There are also no worries of a crying baby interrupting the games or the gift opening. You don’t have to worry about your milk suddenly coming down and staining your party dress. You don’t have to interrupt the party to change a stinky diaper. We all know it: parties are much simpler before baby arrives.

4. Limit Germs
Baby showers involve a lot of people, and if the baby is present, that means a lot of people touching your baby all at once. Do you really want to expose your newborn to that many people at once? Are you willing to wait until the first month is over for your baby shower?

5. You’re Well Rested
You may feel like you’re not sleeping when you’re pregnant, but it has nothing on the way you feel when you’re living with a newborn who has no sense of night and day. Do you really want to attend a party and play shower games when you’re running on three hours of sleep? Do you really want your picture taken a hundred times with those bags under your eyes?

6. You’re Glowing
Piggy-backing on #5 – the first month after you have a baby, it’s more than likely that you’re not going to feel all that incredible looking. Neither your maternity or old clothes fit, you’re still dealing with the shock of the leftover skin and “pooch,” as I like to call it, and it’s likely you’re still wincing a little bit from delivery. It takes a while to recover and there is nothing wrong with that, but I would bet that most women would rather stay home in their sweats than make a public appearance in an outfit that doesn’t quite fit right yet. On the other hand, when you still have a month or two to go before your delivery, your belly is big and cute, your skin is glowing, your hair looks amazing, and the maternity dress clothes available are cuter than ever. It might be a shallow reason to hold a shower before you deliver, but that doesn’t make it any less valid.

Looking for a warm coat that will fit over your baby bump? All of these winter coats are available for less than $80. Snag one now just in time for Christmas. (Tell your hubby to wrap it and pretend to be surprised when you open it!)

1. Liz Lange® Maternity Melton Wool Coat in Red – Available at Target for $49.99 (sale)
I’m partial to this coat because it’s the one I wore last year and I loved it. It’s incredibly warm and the pleats allow the coat to expand while you grow. It’s also the perfect coat for postpartum since the coat hardly looks like maternity when there is nothing pushing the bottom half out.

2. Liz Lange® Short Wool Wrap Coat in Black – Available at Target for $40
This coat is the perfect alternative to the red coat if you are not comfortable sticking out in a crowd (although that’s hard to avoid when you’re pregnant).

3. Quilted Puffer Micro Fiber Maternity Coat – Available at Motherhood Maternity for $79.99 (sale)
This extra long quilted coat is perfect for subzero temperatures (like we have today in the Midwest!)

4. Toggle Closure Twill Maternity Coat – Available from Motherhood Maternity for $54.99 (sale)
Another great style from Motherhood, this coat is machine washable (unlike my first 3 choices), which is a must for some women who would rather avoid a trip to the cleaners.

5. Wool-Blend Button-Tab Coat in Chinchilla – Available online from Old Navy for $44.50 (sale)
This coat is going for half price online right now and is suitable if temperatures in your area drop around freezing (but not much colder than that). It’s the perfect coat for dressing up, but if you like pockets, this coat is not for you. It is pocket-less.