Have one of these statements ever come out of your mouth?

“Could you clean the toilet? I’m not supposed to inhale the fumes from those harsh cleaners because I’m pregnant.”

“Could you pick up the sock I dropped on the floor? I can’t reach it. I’m pregnant.”

It became the joke in our family that I couldn’t do anything because I was pregnant. Pretty soon my husband started wondering if all those excuses I was throwing out were true. Sometimes I really did make things up to be funny, but most of the time I was completely serious. Pregnant women shouldn’t be using harsh chemicals, pesticides, or shoveling an icy driveway. Bending over to reach something on the floor isn’t going to cause a pregnant woman harm, but if you’ve ever tried to pick a sock off the floor in your ninth month, you know how hard it is. I would usually wait until there was more than one reason to get on the floor, and then I would sit there for a few minutes before getting up. Yeah, it’s that hard.

Usually, I didn’t have to say anything if I needed help. If I even tried to do something that “pregnant women aren’t supposed to do,” someone would be there to stop me, even if it was a complete stranger. People were always offering to carry stuff for me. I can’t tell you how many times I was in the grocery store, trying to reach something off the top shelf, when another customer would sweep in and grab the item for me. Sometimes they would express surprise that I was even trying. One person even unloaded my cart for me at the checkout. Did I really look that helpless? I think it was the waddle that gave it away.

What’s the nicest thing anyone has ever done to help you while you were pregnant?

You always hear about pregnant women sending their husbands out for Sonic or Taco Bell in the middle of the night. I never thought I would be one of those women. More importantly, I never thought my husband would be one of those men who would oblige to that kind of request. There was one time during my pregnancy, however, when I decided to throw those preconceived notions out the window. It was late at night and my husband was at a friend’s house. I was watching Food Network and there was a special about the top ten doughnut shops in the US. By the time the show got to the number one doughnut shop in the country, I found myself seriously craving doughnuts and quickly dug out my cell phone to call my husband. I really doubted whether he would say yes, considering how much he hates stores in general, but to my delight he agreed to stop at Walmart on his way home.

Thirty minutes later, I heard the garage open and began to salivate over my anticipated treat. I dreamed of chocolate frosting and cream filling. I imagined the sprinkles and the sticky glaze. When my husband walked in with no doughnut box in site, my heart sunk. “Sorry, I forgot,” he said nonchalantly. Big tears welled up in my eyes and spilled onto my cheeks. I wasn’t mad. It was much worse: I was literally heartbroken over not having my doughnuts!

My husband, who had the doughnuts hidden behind his back, quickly realized his error in playing a joke on me in such a state. “I’m just kidding! They’re right here,” he said, handing them to me. I was a little upset that he had gotten me so worked up, but I was more relieved that he had brought me the doughnuts after all. My husband wiped my tears away and laughed. I think, in that moment, he realized the full scope of my pregnancy related mood swings. He didn’t play any more pranks on me after that; he knew I was taking everything seriously, especially my doughnuts!

Pregnancy is quite the journey for the first-timer, but it can be downright rocky when there’s a toddler running around, or a whole brood for that matter. First time pregnant moms have the freedom to nap when they are tired, rest when they are ill, sit when they are sore, and eat when they are hungry. Pregnant moms with a toddler running around their feet face the challenge of running the house on “empty,” cooking when they are sick to their stomach, chasing kids despite aches and pains, and eating on the go when there is no time to sit for lunch. Then there is the matter of finding someone to watch the kids during prenatal appointments. Suddenly the experience of having been pregnant before is worthless, because this is a whole new ballgame.

Fortunately, there are some practical ways to cope. Your primary source of support is your family. Grandma or Grandpa will become your lifeline. If they offer to babysit; take them up on it! Another way to lighten your load is to schedule play dates with your mommy friends. Just having a second adult around can be enough to ease the stress and might afford you the opportunity to sit down for a while. You can take turns catching fleeing toddlers. Planning and making your meals ahead of time can also be a lifesaver. Make double portions and freeze the extras for future meals. Or, spend a Saturday cooking while your spouse watches the kids. You can make food for the entire week and freeze it. Throughout the week, simply pull a meal from the freezer and reheat it. Some people will even cook for the entire month. If you have the patience to cook for a whole day, it’s not a bad idea. When you are too tired to chase your kids around the house or the yard, find a new activity for them that requires them to sit still for a while, such as any art project, an educational computer game, or a new book. Even if it keeps them occupied for twenty minutes, that’s twenty minutes you didn’t have before to sit down and relax.

What are some ways you cope with your pregnancy symptoms when you have small children to care for?

As soon as you arrive to the hospital, you are given a bag for your personal belongings and the notorious hospital gown, which is essentially a sheet with snap sleeves and tie strings. Five minutes after putting it on, you realize how annoying they are. It’s not easy to access monitors when the only opening is in the rear. When you walk around, you need a second gown just to cover your bum. After you give birth, you have to pull the top all the way down just to breastfeed. There is nothing discreet about a hospital gown. You have no choice but to pull it all the way up during birth, exposing everything. The only advantage I see is the fact that you don’t have to wash it afterward.

After I had my first, I started researching my options for “next time.” I discovered that many women choose to wear special birth apparel to their hospital or home birth. Many women assume you are required to wear the hospital gown. Some women will put on the hospital gown per the nurse’s instructions when they arrive at triage, then change into their own clothes once they get into the private delivery room. Most hospitals will allow you to wear your own clothes as long as they do not interfere with your care.

Binsi(www.birthinbinsi.com) offers skirts that can be paired with a sports bra or tank top. The benefit of wearing one of these skirts is three-fold. You’ll feel more comfortable, the skirt allows easier access to your belly for monitoring, and the doctor or midwife is able to examine you without exposing you to the entire room. The skirts are cute enough to wear out, flexible enough to accommodate any birthing position, do not interfere with labor or delivery, and are fully adjustable, so you can wear them throughout your pregnancy and after as well. I would have loved to have worn one of these during my delivery.

Another option for the glamorous mom is a delivery gown from Pretty Pushers (www.prettypushers.com). By the looks of this dress, you’d never guess it was intended to be worn during labor, or that it was disposable. At $25, they are less than half the cost of a Binsi, screenprinted with cute designs and are made from 100% cotton.

Would you buy a birth skirt or delivery gown for your next delivery?

How prepared a woman is to breastfeed will have a huge impact on whether she sticks with it. But three factors can negatively affect her chances of successfully breastfeeding: inadequate support, a lack of know-how, and flimsy reasons for trying.

If the family isn’t behind her, she’ll be tempted to switch to the bottle to avoid awkward confrontations. While a woman might be able to stand up in the face of criticism from her extended family, if she does not have the full support of her husband, that can become a problem. Some guys are grossed out by breastfeeding, particularly if they have not seen women in their families do it. They may have a hard time seeing the breasts as anything other than a sexual organ, and that may be part of the problem. Spending some time talking about breastfeeding and its benefits during the pregnancy may help. If the hospital offers a breastfeeding class, the mom-to-be should consider bringing her husband along.

A lack of information and advice can also make breastfeeding more difficult than it needs to be. So many women make the mistake of thinking that it will come naturally. I can’t stress enough the importance of taking a good class, particularly if Grandma and other members of the family bottle fed their babies. A good latch is key to pain-free breastfeeding, and that is definitely something that must be taught. Babies really do not know how to eat when they are first born. A mother needs to place her baby at the breast in just the right way and it often takes quite a bit of practice before mom and baby get the hang of it.

Even if a woman has her family’s support and the know-how when it comes to breastfeeding, if she does not have her own concrete reasons for choosing to breastfeed, it won’t take much for her to change her mind. Women are the masters of reasoning themselves in and out of different situations, even if that reasoning is lacking real logic. A woman should know exactly why she is choosing to breastfeed. She should make a goal – a concrete time frame – for how long she wants to continue to breastfeed. If a woman is only planning on breastfeeding because she’s curious, a week of cracked and bleeding nipples will not only satisfy her curiosity, but send her running for the formula aisle.

Researchers were surprised to find that not all women are proactive about pregnancy, whether that means pursuing it or preventing it. Julia McQuillan, professor of sociology at the University of Nebraska-Lincoln studied about 4,000 women and asked them about their plans to have children. 71% of the women were preventing pregnancy, 6% were trying to conceive, and the rest were doing neither.

I am not surprised by this finding, mainly because I am one of those 1 in 4 women who are neither actively trying or preventing. We have one child and we know we want more. The timetable for having more kids is flexible for us. I decided the last time around that actively trying to get pregnant through means of tracking ovulation and planning the days we would try was much too stressful for me, not to mention a total mood killer. The other downside to actively trying to get pregnant is the fact that you are counting the cycles that you do not conceive. The larger that number gets, the more stressed out you become and the more you begin to worry about the I-word: infertility.

Not having a plan for babies does make things awkward, at least for a moment, when people ask me when we’re planning on having more kids. My usual response is, “we’d like more kids, whenever they will come.” People always want a number: a month or a time period. Does it really matter? Why is there so much pressure to get pregnant when your kid nears the age that would put him 2 years in front of his next sibling? The pressure really mounts when the women you were pregnant with the first time are expecting their second.

I am enjoying my one-on-one time with my son. I know I would like him to have brothers and sisters, but I’m not quite ready to give up my special time with him, though not to the point of preventing pregnancy. I don’t have a clear vision for my family in terms of spacing, so it’s easier for me not to plan it at all and simply let nature take its course. In the meantime, I live a lifestyle that is compatible with a healthy pregnancy, just in case.

What about you? Are part of that 23 percent? What are your reasons for not-trying-not-preventing?

This weekend is Mother’s Day, an extra special holiday for expectant mothers, many of whom are celebrating for the first time. For a little over a hundred years, families in the US have honored moms on the second Sunday of May. When you think of Mother’s Day, you automatically think of Carnations and brunch, right? Have you ever thought about alternatives to the usual festivities? Here are some ways to honor the moms in your life, with a twist.

Instead of buying flowers, walk among them. Check out the botanical gardens nearest you. Bring your camera so you can take beautiful family photos. If you’re in southeastern Wisconsin, check out Milwaukee’s Mitchell Park Conservatory, also known as “the Domes.” Explore the desert, the jungle and beautiful floral gardens without ever stepping outside.

Create a time capsule with a Mother’s Day theme. Write a letter to yourself in the future, describing the mother you want to be and a few details about your life as it is now. Include a few keepsakes from your pregnancy, as well. Put everything into a box and hide it (or bury it) until your baby is graduating high school.

Gather a few friends and host a special dinner for the moms. Have all the dads and kids act as chefs and servers. Have the kids plan the menu and decorate the table, too. For some after-dinner laughs, ask some of the younger children what it means to be a mom and how you become one.

Get a “mom-to-be” tiara from the party store and wear it to Mother’s Day Brunch. Hold onto it afterward; it’s the perfect accessory for the delivery room.

How do you like to celebrate Mother’s Day? Will this be your first time celebrating? Do you think pregnant women should get Mother’s Day cards from their husbands?

Music has the power to soothe, to energize, motivate or distract. It can pump you up or lull you to sleep. You’ll be hard pressed to find any fitness class without a driving beat, nor a clothing store without trendy house music. Music is just as useful in the birthing room. It can help set the mood for a calm and relaxed birthing experience, and it can help a laboring mother press on when things get tough.

Unless you want to be at the mercy of whatever is on the TV in your delivery room, I would suggest creating your own mix CD. In fact, I would suggest making two, since it’s hard to predict what kind of mood you’ll be in. Create one mix to calm, and another to motivate or distract. The first CD should feature songs that are relaxing, like spa music. The second CD should have your favorite songs: the kind of music you would get up and dance to or sing along with.

As a side note, the reason I’m talking about CDs as opposed to MP3s is the fact that not all hospitals are going to have something you can plug your MP3 player into. My hospital only had a CD player. Check with your hospital or birthing center ahead of time to see what kind of media you’ll be able to use. You can always bring your own dock for your MP3 player if that is what you want to use.

It’s likely you already own your favorite songs for the upbeat mix. You may or may not have the songs you want to use on your calm mix. Spa music is easy to find. You could easily purchase a compilation at the store (at one of those CD kiosks) or online. If you want to create a mix on your own, however, you can easily sample songs on either iTunes (30 second previews) or on Pandora (full songs, but with less control). You could also search through music sites on MySpace. Once you have your list of songs, purchase them individually online and burn them to a CD or download them on to your MP3 player.

You’ve been decorating the nursery, planning your maternity leave, taking your prenatals and reading your pregnancy books cover to cover, but have you thought about how you will diaper your baby? Most of us assume Pampers will do the trick and never consider the alternatives. But when you weigh in the environmental impact and the cost of disposable diapers, checking out cloth diapers should at least be right up there with picking out nursery furniture.

But aren’t cloth diapers expensive? They can be. Cloth diapering has the potential to save you a ton of money. If you stick to essentials, you can save upwards of $2000 over the first 30 months of your baby’s life. They get expensive when shopping for fancy covers and all-in-one’s becomes a hobby. The cheapest way is to use prefolds and basic covers, washing them at home. A diaper service will still be cheaper than disposables, but not by much.

What about the mess? I don’t think I can deal with scrubbing out poo. These days, you don’t have to. Inexpensive, flushable liners are available. Simply drop the liner and the waste into the toilet and flush. No spraying, dunking or scrubbing involved!

I’m afraid of sticking my baby with a pin. You don’t even have to use pins anymore. There are so many options available. All-in-one diapers are just like disposables and can be fastened with Velcro or snaps. Pocket diapers require you to stuff the cover with an absorbent liner before putting them on the baby, but they are easy to put on and the stuffing can be done straight out of the dryer ahead of time. If you want to use prefolds (the kind you used to pin), you have your option of laying them in a cover, which close up just like an all-in-one or pocket diaper with no stuffing involved, or using Snappis, which keep the diaper snug and fit without the risk of sticking yourself or your baby with a pin. And if you want to use pins, you can.

What about leaks? I heard cloth diapers don’t contain the mess. You heard wrong. When a cloth diaper is properly fit and changed promptly, they are less likely to leak than a disposable. More frequent changes not only prevent leaks, but prevent diaper rash as well.

What are the other benefits of cloth diapering? Because your baby is able to feel when they are wet, they are likely to potty train sooner than if they were in disposables. Cloth diapers allow your baby’s sensitive skin to breathe and they are not as hot and uncomfortable. Cloth diapers do not contain the chemicals found in disposable diapers. Have you ever noticed the warning on a package of disposable diapers that says you should not allow your baby to put the diaper in his or her mouth? Unfortunately, babies cannot read and will eventually get into the diaper bag.

1am – Wake up, search for the body pillow that fell to the floor. Spend five minutes getting comfortable. Drift back to sleep.

1:06am – Your eyes fly open. You run to the bathroom.

2:30am – Wake up to carefully roll over and adjust the pillow between your knees.

6:15am – You realize you cannot lay in bed another minute because your back is aching. Even if your back didn’t hurt, your bladder is about to explode.

6:30am – While reaching for the bag of coffee beans, you remember you kicked the caffeine habit and begrudgingly reach for the apple juice instead. You polish off two bowls of cereal and wonder what else might be in the fridge.

7am – In the shower you pick up your razor, realize you can’t see your legs anyway, and put the razor back on the shelf. Your husband can deal with hairy legs for one more month, right?

7:15am – Everything in your closet looks like a tent. Hmph.

8:30am – Walk into your office, field 50 questions from coworkers about your pregnancy. Thirty of those questions are variations of “how are you feeling?”

8:32am – Why is your coworker taking so long in the bathroom; doesn’t she realize there is a pregnant woman in the office?

9:00am – Your boss asks you to do something. You make a mental note and head back to your desk.

9:01am – You sheepishly return to your boss’ office. “What was it you asked me to do again?”

10am – Thank goodness you remembered to restock the snack stash in your desk yesterday. What’s for lunch?

10:30am – Bathroom break! Maybe you should just move your desk into the ladies room. That might be easier.

12pm – Freedom! You wonder how much food you can buy at Wendy’s with the $6.32 you found in the bottom of your purse.

12:28pm – At least public restrooms have seat covers.

1pm – Back to the cubicle. This time you remember to grab the pillows out of your trunk and add extra cushion to your office chair.

2:45pm – You realize your completely forgot about the post-lunch conference call. Call to reschedule!

3:15pm – Meet with your boss to finalize plans for your maternity leave. Make a pit stop on the way back to your desk.

3:30pm – Snack time!

3:31pm – You contemplate crawling under your desk with those chair pillows for a nap.

5pm – Quick bathroom break before heading out the door. You quickly make a U-Turn after passing Sonic. It’s take-out for dinner tonight!

6pm – Start working on those booties you’ve been meaning to crochet. After the first row you realize your eyes are crossing from exhaustion. You decide to do a little online shopping before bed.

8pm – You’re still reading the reviews on the different cloth diapers you plan on trying. Fatigue will simply not permit you to continue and you head to the bedroom.

8:11pm – You finally get comfortable only to realize you have to get up and pee again. Such is the life of a pregnant woman!

8:30pm – You finally fall asleep… for now.